Fair enough. There's nothing more to say. You closed the door today. You chose to walk away. [Fair Enough]

Seven found out that the Doctor had decided to stay on the planet. He was leaving Voyager. He was leaving her. The thoughts plagued her mind. She felt an ambush of emotions, panic, shock, and despair. She felt sick, like someone had physically punched her in the stomach.

Seven retreated to the Cargo Bay to try and rationalize her feelings. She felt secure there; it was a place that she could think. He was leaving to do what? To sing? He could stay on Voyager and sing. Wasn't it enough to sing with her?

Her next thought hit her harder than the original news that he was staying while she was continuing to Earth. She'd never see him again. Images of the Doctor bombarded her, his face, his hands, and the little lines that made his mouth. When he was talking she'd absently count the lines there.

Immediately she wanted to know why and who was responsible. He was responsible, those fanatical beings, and that one woman who had a fondness for the Doctor. Tincoo, she thought with a sneer. She was very small and unattractive and only appreciated the Doctor for his singing voice.

He needed someone who appreciated him for more that his ability to sing on pitch. He needed someone to sit through his irrelevant holophoto slides and smirk at his jokes. He needed someone to encourage him to continue his growth as an individual.

He was truly unique, she thought to herself with a saddened smile. The pain rose up into her chest and instead of a sharp jab was replaced with a dull ache. She would normally go to Sickbay if she were ill, but instead immersed herself in her work in an effort to avoid him until it was necessary. She ran lengthy diagnostics on her alcove and other equipment to focus her thoughts away from the Doctor.

* * *

Someone leaves someone stays. Someone lost but who's to say. You risk it all to walk away. [Fair Enough]

Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log:

I'm trying to live out a dream. To sing is one of them. If I stay with Tincoo then I can fulfill that dream. I think Seven will understand that. After all, she's one of the reasons I am the individual I am today. This is just another step in that direction. Furthermore, Tincoo wants to be with me. Seven does not, at least not in the way that I want her to want me.

I have to let go of my dream that she could care for me as more than a friend. I must let her live her life. I'm almost thankful for this chance to leave her now. If I had to see her fall in love with someone else, I think I'd go mad. I realize that she cannot love me and I've tried to come to terms with it. I may be running away but I can't ignore this chance. I'll take the coward's way out.

"Computer, delete log entry," he said into the air. There was no reason to wallow. He left Sickbay to find Seven.

* * *

The doors opened to Cargo Bay 2. The Doctor entered prepared to say his final good-bye. He had to tell Seven of Nine, his closest friend, that he would never see her again. This might be his only chance at happiness, and at being something extraordinary.

"Hello, Seven," he said. "I wanted to see you before I left."

She heard his voice and a shock went up her spine. But she couldn't bring herself to turn around. Perhaps if she could just keep checking data, it would cease to happen. She would just wake up in her alcove and it had been all a bad dream brought on by her worse fears. Irrational as it was, she just couldn't look at him.

"I've downloaded some social lessons we haven't covered yet. There are 17 new chapters."

Then she found another emotion, anger. How could he be so unaffected? Their friendship would cease to exist and all he was concerned with was furthering her social lessons.

"Does one of them include instructions for ending a friendship?" She was embittered and failed to keep from expressing it in her words.

"Our friendship's not over, Seven." He could see she was angry. If the tables were turned he knew he'd be upset, but she should be happy for him. He was her friend no matter how far apart they were.

"It will be difficult to maintain if we never see each other again." At her words, his heart sank. He'd never see her again. But he had to reassure her that she would be fine without him.

"I know it'll be hard for you when I'm gone . . . " he began.

Hard for her? Did he really believe she could go on in her lessons as if he were still there? It was never about instruction, but more than that. She valued his companionship. How could he entertain the notion of what her life would be like without him? Obviously his life would be perfect without her.

"I will adapt." She felt bitter and let it out. It was a normal response.

"Yes, I suppose you will. But it'll be hard for me." She will go on and find someone else, of that he was certain. There was always someone to replace him.

"Why? You're getting everything you've ever wanted."

No, he thought sadly, I'm settling for almost everything I've ever wanted. I don't have you. "I thought you'd be the first one to understand my desire to grow as an individual."

She couldn't stand for that. He expected her to sit back and watch him make a mistake. It was a mistake to leave Voyager. "What I don't understand is why you can't do that aboard Voyager." Her voice betrayed her and came out with a squeak.

"I feel I've accomplished all I can here." He walked closer to her. He had to make her understand. This was the best that he could hope for in a life where he could never have the woman he loved. It was a maddening circle. "Oh, there's the occasional medical mystery that challenges my programming, but mostly it's become routine." He knew how the crew perceived him, as a pest or a bore. He normally could live with that, but now he had this chance to be respected for something he loved. "And frankly, I feel my talents are often taken for granted!"

He had to make her realize what this meant to him. "But when I'm standing on that stage performing, and I see those rapt faces in the audience . . . I feel I finally know what it's like to be made of flesh and blood."

"You simply crave attention, applause," She couldn't stand to listen to him belittle his existence, "Fan mail." She noticed he never mentioned her, never once did he acknowledge that she appreciated his talents. Had she become routine to him as well?

"What if I do?" He couldn't deny it; the attention he'd received had been elating. It was more than he'd ever believed he could have, to be adored by millions. It was almost a substitute.

"Those things are irrelevant!" They couldn't be as important as he made them out to be. She didn't crave such attention. He had said himself that she had an incredible voice. She could live this life without fame. Why wasn't it good enough for him? He meant more to her than obviously she'd meant to him. Fan mail meant more to him.

"To you, maybe," he admitted sadly, "But to me, it makes me feel appreciated. Even loved . . ." Something that on Voyager he could never have. "Not for what I've been programmed to do, but for who I've become."

Seven held her breath at the word 'loved'. She...she loved him. Yes, through this myriad of emotions and feelings, that was the most clear now. She loved him.

She was startled back into reality by the com signal.

"Doctor, you're receiving a transmission," said the voice of Ensign Kim.

"Route it to cargo bay two," he acknowledged.

"Doctor, this is Tincoo. I want to see you immediately. I have something to show you."

"What is it?" he asked unaware of Seven's silent tension.

"A surprise. I think you'll be very pleased."

"I'll beam down as soon as I can," he'd found someone to care for him. She would appreciate and love him. He could live out his dream. But he wanted to leave Seven on good terms. He turned to her. "Seven..."

"You shouldn't keep your fans waiting," Seven said her hatred toward the little woman increased ten fold.

He knew that this was the end of the conversation and their friendship. Her angry words would be the last he'd ever hear from her. Heavy hearted he turned to leave the Cargo Bay for the last time. He'd been there so many times for so many reasons. He remembered the first time he'd seen her hair fall around her shoulders, and with that thought he left forever.

All alone I didn't like the feeling. All alone I sat and cried. All alone I had to find some meaning in the center of the pain I felt inside.[Sand and Water]

She watched him go her heart bursting to call out to him but her wounded pride muzzled her silent. She hoped with all of her soul that he'd turn back for even one last look. But the doors closed and he was gone. Seven let out the breath that her pride must've kept in, the breath that would've told him how she felt and begged him to stay. No matter how hurt she was, nor how they'd left things he was her friend. The tears welled up in her eyes and no matter how much she struggled could not contain them. She cried, as she had never done before. It was over.

I used to live in a darkened room, had a face of stone, and a heart of gloom.[Happy Girl]

She'd never known a life on Voyager without him. Before they'd grown close she'd spent countless hours alone in the Cargo Bay. Thinking of it now raised chills on her flesh. She'd be alone again. The walls around her felt emptier than they'd ever been. The only time she'd ever felt somewhat safe was when she'd been around him even for a moment in the day. The thought crossed her mind that they might initialize another EMH hologram to help Ensign Paris, and it horrified her. She felt betrayed. He was her mentor, her friend, and her guide in every step on Voyager and every step as a woman, now leaving with no regrets or apprehensions. She would never see him again.

* * *

These precious days we live through, thrown away like tissues. I wish that I could give you all the time in the world. [All the Time in The World]

She thought she'd have more time. Why couldn't she have realized this earlier? When she'd been searching for the perfect mate he was right there in front of her. All that time wasted and now it was gone forever. He was about to be gone forever.

She'd attended his last performance in silent agony. Voyager was leaving. This would be the last time she'd hear him sing or look upon his face. This longing was so strange and foreign. People around her chattered, but she didn't notice them. She simply stared at the curtain, waiting for him to appear. Her anticipation was catatonic, with eyes glazed and hands clasped willing herself to breathe.

When the lights dimmed, she felt despair rise up in her throat, but she choked it down again. No matter what she was feeling she couldn't betray her sensibilities. She focused hard on the stage entrance from whence he would appear.

He was handsome in the formal tuxedo. When he appeared she tried to catch his eyes. She wanted him to know she was there, that she was there for him. But alas, the lights where too bright and the distance too great for him to distinguish her from the crowd. She'd declined not to sit with the senior officers so she could be alone. She certainly felt alone. It pained her to look at him even from aloft.

He couldn't sing Tincoo's composition. She was confused for a moment at the sadness in his face. As he further explained to the crowd she understood. Somehow, someway he'd been rejected. As he sang she felt her body ache for him, she felt his pain. At the same time she felt something she'd never felt before. This time when he sang she wanted to go to him. She wanted to comfort him. It was as if all his pain had been poured out through his words. So many times they'd sung together and to her they'd been just words. Now, in this moment, she understood why he felt human when he sang to them.

But the crowd did not share her feelings. When he had finished, few clapped and did so with obligation. Suddenly she thought of a way to show him how she felt.

Admiration. That was what she had for him and so much more. That's what these fans had given him. They made him feel loved. She thought she'd made it clear. She thought that she'd have more time to determine the exact nature of what she felt. What she did know was that his leaving had caused her considerable pain, her heart broke. She wanted him to know. Fan mail.

* * *

'Cause if my love can't stop you, words won't make you change your mind. I took a chance to love you. You broke my heart this time.[Fair Enough]

She retreated to the ship. After returning, she went to work on a composition of her own. Perhaps he didn't feel the same as she did, but the words were burning a whole in her soul. He wouldn't stay for her before. He thought of her as merely a friend albeit a close one. Why did she think that now a simple letter would change that? She resolved to bridle her emotions and keep the note efficient.

"Dear Doctor:

I regret that your last performance was not as successful as you'd hoped. There are still those who appreciate your unique talents and admire you as an individual. I wanted you to know that my feelings don't end at admiration, they come as a surprise to me and I still require a mentor to explain the nature of 'love'. I hope you will be open to this discussion."

"Computer delete last two sentences." Too much, too soon. She didn't want to complicate things with her rogue emotions.

"Resume dictation: I'll always consider myself your loyal fan. Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of unimatrix zero one."

"Satisfactory," she breathed. Now the courage to give it to him. She was pleased that he had to return but still distraught that he'd chosen to leave. She wanted to be angry with him but at the same time wanted to revel that he'd come back.

* * *

No one knows but you how I feel inside. No one knows, no one knows but you.[No one Knows But You]

In Sickbay, the Doctor had retreated to his humble surroundings but even there his mind plagued him. He was a novelty, a toy like these miniature versions. Some new entertainment, that's all he was. Tossed aside for the upgrade. He supposed anyone would've done the same. If there were a better version of him, would Seven prefer him as a friend, a mentor?

The Doctor's thoughts claimed him and he didn't notice the doors open to Sickbay. The strains of "Dio, Che Nell'alma Infondere Amor" mocked him from the tiny simulation. Aggressively silencing the little menace he slid it forcefully to the container that held the rest of the little minions. As his eyes followed its flight, he came upon Seven standing in the doorway.

"Oh, Seven, I didn't see you," he said. He looked at her, another person he'd hurt by his foolishness. She'd been right. They wanted an icon, not him. "I suppose you've come to gloat."

Seven considered not giving him the letter, but then she would still carry the burden. Delay was not the healthful option she concluded. "I have something for you," she said softly.

"What is it?" he asked immersed in his own regrets to notice her hesitation.

She paused again, questioning the timing. Her stoicism won out, as she answered, "Fan mail."

Why would she bring him another piece of the thing that indirectly caused this whole mess? Directly it had been his ego that had brought this disaster to its heights. "Delete it," he said with a grim face, "I don't want to read another word."

No, she couldn't retreat with all of the emotions throttling the dam of her demeanor. She wouldn't last much longer. "Then I'll read it for you."

"Seven--"

She read it to him not daring to watch his face. These were muted words from her heart. When she'd finished, he asked her who it was from. Not surprising that he didn't know as it sounded to be what it had claimed, from a loyal fan.

The Doctor was quite surprised to hear such soothing words from at least one person who didn't think he was worthless. He'd absently asked her who it was from.

"It's signed, Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of unimatrix zero one," she admitted. And then she gave it to him, her words of comfort. If he said anything to her further she didn't hear it because she'd left before he could. It took most of her courage to give it to him and even more to read it to him. Again she retreated to Cargo Bay 2.

He held the letter in his hand for a moment replaying the meaningful words over in his mind. He thought about it while he sang softly to himself. She'd been there for his last performance. A peace offering, she'd forgiven him for all of the idiotic things he'd done over the past few days. He remembered what he'd told her about fan mail. She wanted to make him feel appreciated, even....

The words froze in his mind as he mulled over the implications, loved. He'd told her that fan mail made him feel loved. She wanted him to feel loved. Was it possible? Could she mean it the way he hoped? That she loved him...

I held you close to me once in a distant dream far from the shores of my fear. I sailed on this ocean where all I imagined could happen and now you are here.[The Color of Roses]

He quickly put the treasured words into his desk drawer and took out his mobile emitter. He had to straighten this out. If she loved him and he didn't know it, that would make him the biggest fool in the universe for almost leaving. It wouldn't be the first time.

As he was heading out the door, Tom Paris was sauntering in for his shift. The Doctor merely spat out a few words, "Good timing," and sprinted towards the lift.

On the ride, his mind automatically catalogued every smile, every touch, any hint of the smallest affection that might have hinted at her having feelings for him. It was all so ambiguous, but he was sure that she'd never looked at him the way she had just now.

He walked down the corridor to the entrance to Cargo Bay 2. The gate to Eden, he sighed to himself. He just hoped it wasn't all wishful thinking. Stepping up and then realizing the door didn't open, he saw that she had the entrance barred. He pushed the signal. For several seconds he heard nothing. Then he heard what sounded like a little cough.

"Seven?" he called. "Seven, it's me. Can I speak with you?" Still silence. Well, he thought, she could just want privacy. He could come back later. No, no, he wouldn't talk his way out of this.

"Computer override entrance code, Doctor Omega 7."

He entered the Cargo Bay to find darkness. Only the somber glow of the alcoves lit the space.

"Can I help you, Doctor?" He heard her voice say, but he didn't see her.

"Seven? Where are you?" Then he saw movement in the corner of the room. She stepped from the shadows. She carried herself with natural grace. The only things out of place were her eyes that were unusually bloodshot and her lips seemed swollen. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said but her voice quivered ever so slightly.

"You're not fine--"

"Yes, what did you need to talk to me about?" her voice had returned as almost too normal.

He started to doubt why he'd come there in the first place. He'd played over what he would say to her a thousand times before. He'd fantasized about this very moment, but the way she was acting beat him down every second he looked at her. But no, he wouldn't be a coward anymore.

"Seven, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a very long time..." he began. She stood there listening to him, her eyes cloudy pools, and lips like ripe berries. He stepped forward suddenly and clasped her shoulders. There were no words left for this moment, only one action he could think of would halfway express what he felt. And so he kissed her.

* * *

I want to hold you now and listen to you breathe. It's like the ocean sound whispering through the trees. In the hollow of your shoulder there's a tidepool of my tears where the waves came crashing over and the shoreline disappears.[Seven Shades of Blue]

Seven had returned to the Cargo Bay before her emotions took over. She fought but the tears still came. She despised this new inability to control them. It was as if these recent events were cascading and threatened the walls of order. Then the Doctor came in. She couldn't explain why she was crying but try as she might she couldn't make them stop. A few deep breaths helped, but her appearance would surely give her away.

She'd regained her composure enough to speak to him. Then he'd kissed her. She'd been shocked at first but then gave herself over to the kiss and returned it. It was like a wave, rinsing her clean of all of her guilt and self-pity. She didn't understand why he'd done it but oddly that wasn't a priority at the time. All she cared about was this kiss.

The Doctor broke the kiss and embraced her tightly. "Oh, Seven. Do you know how long I've wanted to hold you like this? I, I'm sorry, Seven. So very sorry. I was a fool to think I could leave."

She pressed her face into his chest for a moment and then said, "Sorry is irrelevant." She thought for a moment, knowing he was smiling at her comment. "Doctor?"

"Yes?" he shifted to look at her face.

"Then why were you leaving?" she looked at him her face full of questions. The trails of her previous tears lined her cheeks. She wondered if he'd felt this way why would he leave her. She couldn't comprehend seeing what one wanted and turning the opposite way.

Away beyond the blue, one star belongs to you and every breath I take, I'm closer to that place.[Beyond the Blue]

He sighed and his brow furrowed. "I didn't think," he paused, "I didn't think you cared for me in the same way. For a long time I wanted to tell you, but I assumed that the moment had passe. I'd lost my chance. And one day you'd find someone to date, someone that saw past that tough exterior, and would love you just as I do. Then I'd have to sit by and let it happen, even help you. I saw a chance to avoid that. I wanted to be adored by millions that part is true, but more than that I wanted to leave before you could fall in love with someone else."

"And Tincoo?" she questioned further.

"She, hmm, I thought she cared for me," he smiled at the golden haired angel, "I thought I could make myself care for her since she seemed so enamored with me. But she was nothing you are." He began rocking her slightly almost like a dance. Then he stopped. "I love you, Seven."

She wasn't certain why, but she felt compelled to tell him how she'd come to feel the same. "When I was told of your decision to leave I felt a strange burden. It was an intense pain with no physical cause. I felt the pain here," she said taking his hand and placing it on her chest. The heat of his hand intensified what she'd felt when he kissed her. But this heat radiated to other places. She wanted him to touch more of her.

We can do no wrong when the lights come on and the music plays and we take the stage like we own the place as if time were cheap and the night forever young. [Seven Shades of Blue]

When Seven placed his hand on her heart he felt a rush like that of standing in front of those hundreds of faces. But it was only she. She made him feel this way. She made him feel like flesh and blood. He wanted to touch her.

"I love you, Doctor," she said softly. Her eyes were darker, mere lines of sapphire around onyx.

He captured her mouth with his and clasped his hand against her porcelain throat. She clawed at his neck and shoulders. She was alive with passion she'd never felt before. She wanted to be one with him, her friend, her mentor and she wanted him to be hers. He let loose the golden snare of her silken madness that swept around her shoulders. His hand at her breast indulged in sweet millimeters toward the prize. He couldn't believe this amazing thing was happening.

She wanted to touch all of him. Her hands darted over his flesh. She felt so impossibly close to him but out of her own body at the same time. The things he was doing made her forget thoughts seconds later. She'd never known she could lose control in such a way. He was standing so close that she could feel her body being drawn to the heat from his. A second later he ground his hip against her and she gasped at the exquisite contact.

His hands were everywhere, touching, rubbing, all stoking the flame within her. His mouth still on hers was feral and she returned the fierceness of his caress. Suddenly his fingers were at her opening thrashing against the material of her suit. Although muted, the touch was no less erotic. She clung to his shoulders as he slowly drove her over the edge with his ministrations. Her breath was coming in short pants as the fire mounted in her. For a maddening second she was on the brink and the tidal wave of sensations washed over her.

You are everything you want to be so just let your heart reach out to me. I'll be right by your side, say good night not good bye.[Say Goodnight]

He held her tightly until she stopped shaking and could stand again. She looked again into his eyes with a wildness he'd never seen. At first he worried that he'd been to forward, that he'd rushed to quickly. "Seven, I'm sorry, I shouldn't--"

She leveled his apology with a kiss. "Doctor, I would like to do that again," she purred, "Slightly altered of course."

He laughed lightly. "You-you would? Yes, well, as much as I'd love to, we're both expected at the senior officers meeting at 0600. You need to regenerate." He smiled slyly, "Although, I don't have any appointments after that."

"And I will not be required in Astrometrics until 0900." She smirked, "we will continue my lesson tomorrow then."

He pursed his lips and turned to leave. Turning back he looked at her, beautifully disheveled. "Good-bye, Seven."

"Not, good-bye, Doctor. Good-night," she corrected good-naturedly.

"Yes, well, good-night," then he added deeply, "Seven."