Part 2

She looked around the holodeck nervously. She wanted everything to be perfect. He would be here soon.

She had tried to stay away from him. The feelings she had experienced had frightened her. At first, she thought it would be best to stay away from him. But each day away from him had made her more and more miserable. B’Elanna’s words kept replaying themselves through her mind. Finally, she knew that the pain of being away from him was worse than the fear of being with him.

It had taken her almost a week to get up the courage. She had gone to the sickbay. She could tell he was surprised to see her. When she had looked at him, she had felt that same electricity she had felt the night she reached out to touch him. She had almost lost her courage. He had walked toward her, and she had found herself backing up. He had stopped.

"How are you today, Seven?" His voice had been low and warm. She had realized how much she had missed the sound of his voice.

"I am fine." Her voice had sounded strained and shaky.

"Can I help you?"

"No. I did not come here for treatment." He had stood there, not moving, waiting. "I came to…invite you to dinner." She had dropped her eyes immediately, suddenly scared. She had never considered he would not accept but standing here in front of him now, she was afraid he would tell her no. When he did not answer, she looked back up at him, the color starting to drain from her face.

But he had been smiling at her. "I would love to."

She had swallowed, trying to push down the fear. "Sandrines at eight?" The words almost squeaked out.

"I will look forward to it."

Now, sitting in Sandrines, she was remembering the look on his face when he had said those words. The memory of that face brought a smile to hers. She thought she could look at that face every minute for the rest of her life.

Suddenly, the fear starting rising in her again. No. This was wrong. She should not have done this. There was no one for the rest of her life. If her life had taught her anything, it was that. She had not had many people in her life that she had been that emotionally bonded with, but she had lost them all. She thought about her parents and One. No. She would not risk this again.

She stood to leave when he walked in. As soon as she looked at him, she knew she would not leave. She knew she could not leave. She heard B’Elanna’s words in her mind. "Don’t be afraid of those feelings. Let them happen."

He walked up to her and handed her a single red rose. "Hello, Seven. You look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you." It was all she could manage to say. She took the rose from him. She did not know what to do next.

He could sense her confusion and uncertainty. He realized he would have to take the lead in the evening. "Should we sit down?"

She nodded, and they moved to the table. The waiter came over, and the Doctor ordered for them. He started talking to her, about his day, about opera, about nothing. She just listened to the sound of his voice. She felt herself starting to relax. He asked her about her day. She started, stumbling over her words. He seemed not to notice. Soon, they were talking, and she realized she was starting to feel comfortable for the first time in weeks. It wasn’t long before she heard a sound come from her, and she realized it was her own laughter.

"Well, that was a nice sound." He was sitting back in his chair, legs crossed, hands in his lap. "I don’t think I could ever hear that enough."

"What?"

"You, laughing. You have a wonderful laugh. I wish I could hear it more." He leaned forward, looking at her intently, "It means you are happy. I want you to be happy, Seven. Whatever it takes for that to happen, I want it for you."

More than anything right now, she wanted to be in his arms. She was surprised to find that she was not afraid of him. She longed for him.

He saw it in her eyes, but he would not move toward her. Instead, he asked, "Would you like to dance?"

She nodded and the music started immediately. As soon as he heard it, he looked at her, a slightly startled expression on his face. She gave him a smile.

"Our song," he said as she stood. The strains of "Someone to Watch Over Me" filled the room.

He took her in his arms, and they started to dance. He held her away, almost afraid to pull her close, but she moved into him. He was humming in her ear and then he was singing to her softly. She knew at this moment, everything about them was right.

The song ended, and they stopped moving, but stood holding each other. He kissed the side of her neck. She lifted her head, and he kissed her throat. Then, they were kissing each other. She felt a hunger start to rise in her. This time, it did not frighten her.

They did not even hear the doors open, but they heard Tom Paris’ voice.

"Oh, wow! About time!"

They separated in shock. As soon as they looked at him, Tom knew he had made a huge mistake.

"Oh, guys, look, I’m sorry. I’ll leave."

But the damage was done. Seven of Nine stood, horrified. Then she ran. She was past Tom before he could react. His voice blended with the Doctor’s as they both called after her. But she was gone. The Doctor moved after her. Tom grabbed his arm.

"Doc. I’m really sorry."

But the look the Doctor gave him backed him off. He let him go and the Doctor left to find Seven.

Tom Paris stood there. He picked up the single red rose on the table where they had obviously eaten dinner. He shook his head, upset with himself.

"Oh, man."

* * *

"You did what?" B’Elanna Torres was practically yelling.

Tom sat with his head in his hands. He was wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. "I know. I know. I can’t believe I did that."

"What happened after Seven ran out?"

"The Doctor followed her. I didn’t know what to do so I went by sickbay later to see if the Doctor was there and to apologize to him again."

"Tom! What if they had been there? Then what would you have done?"

"I didn’t even think about that. I just felt so bad."

B’Elanna went over and sat on the sofa next to him. As upset as she was over what he had done, she felt badly for him. She put her arm around his shoulders and hugged him. "What happened?"

"No one was there so I started to leave. Then the Doctor came in." He stopped talking and B’Elanna knew it had not been a nice conversation. "Let’s just say he was not happy with me."

"Did he say anything about Seven?"

"Not really. I did get the idea he had not been able to find her. We had a few words, me trying to apologize, and him yelling. Finally, he told me he was going to get some privacy the only way he could, and he deactivated his program. B’Elanna, I really screwed up this time."

"Yes. I think you really did." She paused, "So, they were really kissing, huh?"

"Oh, yes. It was some kind of a kiss." Tom grinned at her, "I had no idea Seven had it in her."

B’Elanna cut her eyes at him and grinned back, but sobered quickly. She sat thinking a moment and turned to him, "What did you say the Doctor said right before he deactivated himself?"

Tom had to think before he responded. "I think he said he was going to get some privacy the only way he could." He saw the far off look in her face. "Why, what is it? What are you thinking?"

B’Elanna rose, crossed her arms and started pacing. Then, she stopped, "Tom, do you realize neither one of them has private quarters?"

Tom’s face went from blank to amazed. "You’re right. I never thought about it."

B’Elanna was still only a moment. She hit her combadge, "Computer, is the Captain still up?"

"The Captain is still up."

"Computer, ask the Captain if Ensign Paris and I can visit her in her quarters."

"B’Elanna, what are you doing?" Tom jumped up, not knowing what to do to stop her.

"Janeway to Torres."

"Torres here." She was pushing Tom back, shushing him.

"You and Ensign Paris want to see me?"

"Yes, Captain. If it is convenient."

"It’s late, Lieutenant. Is this an emergency?"

"No, Captain. No emergency. I’m sorry if we’ve bothered you." Tom looked relieved and B’Elanna glared at him.

"No, it’s okay. I’m not sleepy right now anyway. Why don’t you two come on? Janeway out."

Tom groaned. B’Elanna grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out the door.

* * *

"So, what is so important you wanted to see me this time of the night?" She was looking at them. She did not think she had ever seen either of them so nervous. She sat back and waited for one of them to speak.

Tom and B’Elanna looked at each other. He looked at her as if to say this was your idea so she took a deep breath and started.

"Captain, we need to talk to you about the Doctor and Seven."

"Do you two have a problem with the Doctor and Seven?"

"No, Captain." She looked to Tom for help. He rolled his eyes.

"Captain," he said, "tonight, I walked in on the Doctor and Seven on the holodeck." When the captain looked at him with a question in her eyes, he continued, "They were kissing and I interrupted them."

"Kissing?" She was shocked. She couldn’t help herself, she had to ask the question, "Really kissing?"

Tom started laughing, "Oh, yes, Captain. A really great kiss."

B’Elanna slapped him on the arm, "Tom!" Then she turned to face the captain, "The Doctor and Seven have been trying to…develop a relationship. Tonight, after Tom barged in on them," she glared at him, "we realized neither of them have…any where private they can go." She finished clumsily, her face reddening. Her eyes dared Tom to say anything.

Captain Janeway was still struggling not to laugh at Tom when B’Elanna’s words sunk in. "No. They don’t, do they?" She sat, lost in thought. Tom and B’Elanna stood quietly, not certain what to do, but not willing to do anything to break her concentration. Finally, she looked up, "Thank you for talking to me about this. I will think about it." She stood and headed them to the door. "A really great kiss, huh?"

Tom smiled and nodded his head vigorously.

"Good," said the Captain. "It’s about time."

* * *

Seven was working in the Astrometrics Lab when Captain Janeway entered. The Captain noticed she did not respond to the doors opening and closing. She walked up behind her, "Seven?"

Seven jumped and spun around. "Captain. I did not hear you come in."

"I noticed. You must have been concentrating pretty hard on your work. What are you working on?"

"I am mapping the nebula ahead of us." She was obviously rattled and trying to recover.

"I didn’t realize that would be so absorbing." The Captain was amused.

"I…I was somewhat preoccupied." Seven moved back to continue her work at the console.

"Seven, is there anything you would like to talk to me about?"

Seven turned to face her. She still could not trust herself to talk about what had happened. It had been upsetting. She had felt exposed. A moment that should have been so private between the two of them was, by now, she was certain, the talk of the ship. It hurt her to think that what had happened between them was being talked about on the ship.

"No, Captain. There is nothing I would like to talk about right now."

"I see." The Captain turned to view the mapping coordinates on the screen in front of them. "Looks like you are coming along in your work. Are you too busy to accompany me?"

Seven frowned, "No. I can stop my work."

"Good, follow me." With that, she walked out of the Astrometrics Lab. Seven hurried after her.

"Where are we going?"

"You will see when we get there."

They walked, with Seven glancing at her from time to time. Since she had not answered her question about where they were going, Seven did not ask anymore questions, and the Captain did not volunteer any information. Finally, they arrived at a door, and the Captain keyed in an access code. The door opened and the Captain walked in. Seven followed.

"Well, what do you think?" The Captain was looking at her.

She looked around and asked, "What do I think about what?"

"These quarters, Seven. What do you think about them?"

"These are empty quarters. What is it that I am to think about them?" She was totally confused.

"Seven, what would you say if I told you these are your quarters? That is, if you want them"

"Captain?"

"Let’s just say I realized that you do not have a real place of your own. I thought this might be a place you could have some privacy."

Seven looked around the room, her eyes finally falling back on the Captain’s. "Did you realize that on your own?"

Kathryn Janeway pursed her lips, "No, actually, I had some help." She saw the anger flash in Seven’s eyes. "I had help from some people who honestly care about you and the Doctor." Seven looked at her, blinking. The Captain walked up to stand closer to her. "Seven, I know you have to be upset over what happened. It was an unfortunate thing, but it was a thoughtless act, not a vindictive one."

"I know, Captain." Seven turned away from her, afraid of the emotions she was feeling. "I realize Mr. Paris could not have know why we were in there. But…" She could not finish.

"I understand. It was a private moment, meant to be between you and the Doctor only. You had opened yourself up emotionally, and you did not mean to share that moment."

Seven was surprised. "How can you know how I feel?"

"What you felt was normal. Most of us have been there at one point or another in our lives. I know it doesn’t diminish the pain and hurt you feel now, but it was a perfectly normal reaction."

Seven looked at her gratefully. "Thank you, Captain. Your words give me comfort."

"Good. I hoped they would." She glanced away, "Would you like to talk to me about your relationship with the Doctor?"

Seven hesitated. She started walking around the empty room, stopping to look into the small bedroom and out of the window over the bed. The Captain watched her, not quite knowing what to expect. Finally, she started speaking.

"When I came on Voyager, almost everything was a new experience for me. I was willing to participate in those new experiences. They were all ways of trying to become comfortable with my humanity. At that time, I also was willing to explore my sexuality. It would have been another experience for me, much like eating or taking a sonic shower. Nothing more.

"But now, I find the thought of doing so…frightening. And I do not understand why." She finished, looking at the Captain.

Kathryn Janeway did not think she had ever seen Seven look so young or so vulnerable. She walked up to her, "Come on, let’s go sit down in here." She led her into the small bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. "Come, sit down next to me." She patted the bed next to her. "Please."

Once Seven was seated, Janeway took her hand and started talking, "Seven, what you are afraid of is not exploring your sexuality." She smiled inwardly at the surprised look on Seven’s face. "What you are afraid of is exploring this deep emotional bond you are developing with the Doctor.

"Sex, by itself, is just another physical experience. Had you explored your sexuality soon after you came on Voyager, it might not have meant more than eating or taking a sonic shower. But now, it has a much deeper meaning for you than just physical contact. It means sharing yourself emotionally. That makes it mean something very different."

She now held Seven’s hand in both of hers and turned to face her, "I think what is scaring you is that, when you take this step with the Doctor, you know in your heart, it will mean you are deeply and emotionally bonded with him. You will be committed to him in a way you have never been with anyone else."

After a long, heavy silence, Seven spoke, "You are right, Captain. I am afraid. I have lost the only people I have felt deeply about. I am afraid I could not bear to experience that loss again." She took a deep breath, fighting back tears.

"Seven, living this life sometimes means learning to live with loss. It is a risk you take every day. No one can say that you will survive tomorrow, or that I will. But we cannot afford to give up living for the fear that we will die. And you cannot give up loving someone because you fear losing him."

A single tear started to run down Seven’s face. The Captain reached up and wiped it off. "Seven, it will be all right." She sensed Seven needed to be alone right now so she stood to leave. "You can let me know what you decide about these quarters. And, no one but you and I know about this." She took Seven’s face in her hands and lifted it. "I hope you know I am here for you if you need me."

Seven nodded and the Captain left. She looked around the room, trying to sort out all of her feelings. It is just a room, she thought to herself. Then she thought, no, it is my room.

* * *

She was walking around the room, moving things around, trying to get everything just right. She was just minutes away from contacting the Doctor. It had taken her almost two weeks to get the new quarters fixed up -- and to work up her courage. The living area looked acceptable. The replicators were programmed and ready to prepare the dinner at the appropriate time.

Earlier today, she had stopped by the sickbay.

"I would like for you to join me for dinner at Sandrines tonight."

"I would be glad to." He had looked surprised and pleased. He had then smiled at her and added, "You might be happy to know that Mr. Paris has duty here tonight."

She had smiled back at him. "I will see you at eight?"

"At eight."

She had left. Walking back to Astrometrics, she had marveled at how calm she felt.

But, right now, she was not feeling very calm. She checked the time, took a deep breath, and with a slightly trembling hand, hit her combadge, "Seven of Nine to the Doctor."

"Doctor here." He sounded surprised.

"Doctor, I cannot meet you at Sandrines."

"Oh." She could hear the disappointment.

"Could you join me here?"

"Of course. Are you in Astrometrics?"

"No, I am on deck nine, room one-two-one."

"I am on my way. Doctor out."

She looked around one last time. She hoped he would be pleased with the way she had fixed the quarters. Even though the Captain had said they were her quarters, everything she did, she did with him in mind. She had even put pictures on the wall. She was not certain why anyone thought walls had to be covered, but she knew he would be pleased. She was so deep into thought she was almost surprised when the computer announced the Doctor.

"Come in, Doctor."

He walked in, glad to see her and, for a moment, not even aware of the surroundings. "Hello, Seven. It is wonderful to see you. I am glad you were able to see me even though we couldn’t meet at Sandrines." Suddenly, he noticed that they were in living quarters. He looked around, a questioning look appearing on his face. "Seven, where are we? Whose quarters are these?"

"These are my quarters."

"What?" He looked at her in shock.

"These are my quarters."

"When did you get quarters?"

"The Captain assigned them to me. She thought I needed more private accommodations."

"That’s wonderful, Seven. How nice for you." He looked around. Suddenly, a look of awareness appeared on his face.

Seven smiled at him, "Yes, Doctor. We can enjoy a private dinner and not worry about being intruded upon. Dinner is ready. Would you like to sit down?"

He nodded, not certain exactly how to act. He had never been alone with Seven in a place where no one could just walk in and interrupt them. Now, it was his turn to be unsettled.

He sat at the table and watched as she prepared his plate and placed it in front of him. "Seven, this looks wonderful. Did you do this by yourself?"

She nodded, "I have been practicing. My first efforts were not…entirely successful."

He laughed. "Well, I would say your practicing has definitely paid off."

She fixed her plate and joined him at the table. "If you would like, you may select the music. I programmed the computer with a list of your favorites."

"No, let’s save the music for later. Right now, I would just like to enjoy this time with you. It is such a treat to be able to be with you and know that half the ship will not walk through those doors."

They ate and talked and laughed. The Doctor watched the lights dance in Seven’s eyes. He did not think she had ever looked more beautiful. He did not want this night to end. He had never felt so close to anyone.

She watched his face. She thought she knew every line of it. There was such tenderness and strength in it. She watched for the corners of his mouth to turn up and, when they did, to turn on the sparkle in his eyes. She wanted more than anything to touch his face at that moment.

"Would you like to dance?" He was reaching for her.

"Yes, I would like that very much." She spoke, "Computer, play our song."

He laughed lightly as the strains of "Someone to Watch Over Me" started and pulled her into his arms. They danced and, like the night at Sandrines, he sang softly in her ear. When the song ended, she put her hands to his face. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and they kissed. He could feel her heart beating and her pulse rate increase. He felt her start to tremble. He pulled away.

"Seven?"

But she reached out to his face with shaking hands. "Please."

"But, Seven, are you certain?"

She was really trembling now, her hands still on his face. "The only thing I am certain of is that I love you, Doctor."

Her words struck him dumb. He could only look into her eyes, and they told him everything he needed to know. He saw the love and the trust that were there, and he found the only words he needed.

"And I love you."

* * *

He was watching her sleep. He wanted to reach out and touch her but he was afraid doing so would wake her. So he just watched.

He felt an absolute sense of wonder at what had happened between them. How would she feel, he wondered? Would she regret what had happened? Please, don’t let her be sorry. A flicker of concern crossed his face.

At that moment, she moved, her eyes opening as she did. She looked around, slightly surprised at seeing him there. Then, she remembered where she was.

He did not move. He did not want to do anything to frighten her. He could only look at her and hope that his face showed her the love her felt for her. He tried desperately not to let her know how apprehensive he was. Don’t be sorry, Seven. He was begging her in his head. Don’t be sorry.

He watched the memory of what had happened flood back into her face. He watched her eyes look back at him, wander around the room, glance down at her own body and move back to lock on his eyes. Then, she reached her hand up to touch his face, smiling. Suddenly, she laughed. She raised herself up on one elbow and moved so she could kiss him.

No, he thought as he wrapped his arms around her, no regrets.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway had the feeling she was watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. At first, she had been afraid Seven was not going to take the living quarters. She had been relieved when she finally came to her ready room to thank her and to accept the offer. Seven had seemed reluctant to talk about her decision and Janeway had not pushed her. But she watched and noticed as Seven went about the business of fixing up her new home.

She had worked late at night when no one was likely to see her. At one point, the Captain stopped by to find her cleaning.

"Seven, you don’t have to clean that way."

"I know. It is just that I want to do it like this. I find this satisfying."

They had talked for a few minutes but the Captain had sensed that Seven was eager to return to her work so she had left. Still, what she had seen had pleased her. Seven had seemed surprisingly content.

Then, she had noticed small things. While it was not obvious that anything had happened between the Doctor and Seven, she was aware of things that were different. There were looks and smiles and, though they never touched when other people were around, they stood closer to each other. Janeway knew that Seven would want any relationship between the two of them private, but she did not think, that if anything had happened, they would be able to keep it private for long.

She remembered the night that everyone knew. Neelix had decided they all needed a treat so he had hosted a dessert party in the mess hall. The crowd was relaxed and jovial with small groups scattered all over the mess hall. The Doctor and Seven had been off in a corner, looking out of one of the windows. The Doctor was doing all of the talking and was pointing in various directions. No one was really paying them much attention until they heard someone laughing. Slowly, people in the room fell silent as heads turned toward the sound of the laughter. It wasn’t the laughter that surprised everyone – it was who was laughing.

It was Seven of Nine. Everyone was staring, shocked. Captain Janeway realized it was the first time any of them had heard her laugh. She had learned to smile and people could often see humor in her eyes, but no one had ever even heard her giggle. There she was, laughing freely, her eyes fixed on the Doctor. Suddenly, everyone in the room averted their eyes. It was eerie, she thought, how they all seemed to realize at the same time they shouldn’t stare. Thinking back, she knew that everyone was afraid they would upset Seven. Everyone knew how uncomfortable she could be in a crowd, and how much she did not want to be the center of attention. But Captain Janeway noticed that they all tried to watch the Doctor and Seven without being obvious. She saw smiles and winks and even some credits pass hands that night. The other thing she saw was that neither the Doctor nor Seven had been aware that they had been the center of attention.

A new person had started to emerge, not obviously at first, but slowly. It had been nice to see the coldness replaced by warmth. Seven seemed to grow more comfortable with herself and with everyone around her.

It was also nice to see how everyone on the ship responded to the two of them. The crew went out of their way to give the new couple privacy and respect. No one wanted to do anything to put this relationship at risk. That is probably what surprised the Captain most. She had wondered how people would react to a relationship between a hologram and a Borg, but it was obvious that everyone wanted this relationship for the Doctor and Seven as much as they wanted it for themselves.

As Kathryn Janeway walked the corridors of Voyager, she was feeling very good about the couple. She had taken a big risk in separating Seven from the collective and bringing her on the ship. It had not always been easy but, right now, it all seemed worth it. Real love, she thought, seems to conquer every barrier.

Part 3